How to Build a Life of Freedom, without Regrets
Navigating our way to Breaking Free…
Introduction
Before we talk about building a life of freedom, I’d like us to confront and acknowledge a painful truth:
Too many people today are feeling trapped or held back,
as if life is happening TO them, not FOR them.
Don’t believe me?
Right now:
3 in 4 suicides in the UK are men
Only 1/3 of those accessing therapy are men
60% of Men and 70% of Women are Fearful of the Future
57% of Men and 71% of Women are feeling Anxiety or Depression
63% of Men and 75% of Women are feeling Burnt-Out or Exhausted
Ref: Ipsos 2024 Study of UK Men & Women across the ages of 18-49
We’re facing a silent crisis of overload, isolation, disconnection, and emotional shutdown, leaving many leading lives of exhaustion, inauthenticity, and a lack of clarity or direction.
A far cry from the freedom we crave — and at the very least, it holds us back from our full potential.
We long for a life where we are free: to do what we love, live where we want, spend meaningful time with those who matter most. But crucially, on our terms.
Despite having access to endless ideas and information, many struggle to find that freedom.
Instead, doubts and fears quietly stack up, leaving us feeling stuck, unsure how to take back control.
We risk slipping into a life of bottling things up, feeling isolated, unsure how to express what’s really going on, especially men. Fearful of appearing ‘weak.’
I know this not just from studies, but from personal experience and loss.
Wonderful individuals I loved, who sadly fell victim to this invisible battle.
And my own dark moments, questioning what’s the point, desperate to break free.
We can all relate to feeling lost, stuck, or perpetually struggling.
That’s why I’m writing this blog — to tell the world my WHY.
Why my Alarm Clock goes off before 5AM. Every day, I chase this mission.
I’m confronting what needs to be confronted and building what needs to be built - A Wellbeing Freedom to help us navigate through change.
Helping those who bottle up, to open up.
To unravel the craft of fulfillment, fueled by our Playful Curiosity.
And unlock our full potential.
And I want you to always know: no matter how difficult or impossible it feels, CHANGE IS POSSIBLE.
As Viktor Frankl said, after surviving Auschwitz:
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."
In this blog, I’ll share what I’ve learned, insights from our research, training, coaching and lived experience, so you can start creating a life of true inner and outer freedom, before it’s too late.
With that in mind, let’s dive in…
Freedom Foundations
Freedom Foundations are the core beliefs, choices, and values that shape how you live a free, meaningful life.
Without them, it’s easy to drift through life following someone else’s script — and waking up too late to change it.
The 3 Key Elements that underpin Freedom’s Foundations:
Freedom Self-Definition: What does success, happiness, fulfilment mean to YOU, as opposed to the rest of the world?
Conscious Constraints: What principles, disciplines, or limitations do you willingly embrace to protect what matters most?
Responsibility: You own the results, good and bad, because you chose the rules.
First, take time to get clear on what freedom really means to you,
how it looks, how it feels, and how you want to live it.
Get a paper and pen, write it down! Whatever comes up.
Here’s a list that may help inspire you…
Types of Freedom
Time Freedom
Financial Freedom
Emotional Freedom
Purpose Freedom
Relationship Freedom
Mental Freedom
Identity Freedom
Lifestyle Freedom
Geographical Freedom
Creative Freedom
Career/Work Freedom
Health Freedom
Identity Freedom
Spiritual Freedom
For the sake of connecting with the ideas provided here, perhaps pick one or two forms of freedom that resonate strongly right now e.g. emotional freedom or financial freedom.
The clearer and more comprehensive you can be with what you know and want today, the better.
Freedom isn’t something handed to you, it’s something personal that you consciously choose.
And the most important choice you’ll make is setting your own terms.
Freedom on our terms means living by the below areas that we consciously choose:
Core Values; and
Rules/Conditions or Standards
NOT the ones society, fear, or others have handed us.
If you aren’t sure of your Core Values, explore these and aim to list your Top 4 - 10, using reliable online resources such as:
https://positivepsychology.com/values-worksheets/
For Rules… see the below example from Psychologist Jordan Peterson’s book ‘12 Rules for Life’:
Stand up straight with your shoulders back.
Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping.
Make friends with people who want the best for you.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.
Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them.
Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world.
Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient).
Tell the truth—or, at least, don't lie.
Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don't.
Be precise in your speech.
Do not bother children when they are skateboarding.
Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.
But this is about YOUR Rules and Guiding Principles remember!
Once you have identified the above, reflect on your level of daily action Alignment to these recently and today,
and the level of Responsibility you are taking in owning all of your Outcomes (past, present and future).
Learning from Regret, and why it’s important
Knowing about other people’s regrets gives us a powerful mirror.
It shows us where real freedom is often lost:
not through failure, but through abandoning ourselves, ignoring our truth, and living by default, not design.
In the context of building a life of freedom, regret becomes a guide:
It reveals the hidden traps — living for approval, suppressing emotions, working without meaning, neglecting connection.
It reminds us what truly matters — authenticity, love, courage, self-expression, joy.
It challenges us to act now, not later — because later often never comes.
In her book ‘The Top Five Regrets of the Dying’, author Bronnie Ware an end-of-life palliative care nurse captured the repeated themes shared by those who were soon to pass away:
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me (most common)
I wish I hadn't worked so hard (especially among men, who often missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship)
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings (suppressing emotions led many to settle for mediocre lives or unresolved conflicts.)
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends (many realised too late how much relationships mattered)
I wish that I had let myself be happier (many didn't realise until the end that happiness is a choice, not a condition)
Ask yourself honestly, do any of these resonate?
Now let’s avoid those eventualities, and build a life that encourages living honestly, intentionally, taking the right action, and staying true to ourselves.
The Four Freedom Pillars
1.Letting Go & Presence: (SLOW DOWN, return to the present, release the pressure, reframe)
Goal: To release all that noise and clear your Mind & Heart by creating space, slowing down, releasing the pressure you’re carrying, and building simple habits that support clarity, resilience, and inner freedom — so you can respond to life with presence, not added pressure. This will immediately assist in managing any Overload & Overwhelm you are experiencing to make room for clearer thinking.
Let it all out, reach out, empty the load you’re carrying - Speak to those you trust, open up and share what you’re experiencing with as much courage as you can muster (that’s half the battle). Free your headspace. One of the best ways I have found is through running or exercise out in nature. But please, resist the fear of reaching out and asking for help if you need it.
Make immediate space and time for what matters (repeatedly) - create space and time for peace. Unstructured and unpressurised time to relax and help you see things clearly. A chance to let go and gain perspective, even if it means a holiday or break away.
Practice staying present and mindful - Explore mindfulness practices (e.g. breathing meditation) that keep you grounded and in the present, somewhere you can choose to return to in any moment. But for full benefits it must be practiced, both when things are good and when things are difficult. If you’d like to understand this a little more from a science or therapeutic standpoint, consider reading about Cognitive Diffusion used in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy where we detach ourselves from the thought, feeling or belief and see it from multiple perspectives. We can use our physiology and things like breathing to calm or heighten our nervous system to meet the state we desire, which often is a state of calm alertness.
Return making aligned, conscious Choices with a Beginner’s Mind — Choose actions that align with your values to reduce mental noise. Having 3-4 clear Top Core Values can help you navigate this. Practice a Zen Beginner’s mind, looking out at the world and all within it as if it is for the first time.
Slow down, Simplify & Prioritise — Slow down everything. Focus on fewer but more meaningful tasks to combat overload or burnout. Leverage Pareto’s 80/20 Rule to focus on what matters.
Focus on Outcomes, Not Activities and Communicate — In tough times, prioritising outcomes over busyness helps you simplify the load and stay effective (energy management over time management.)
Live Proactively, Not Reactively — Protect your time, attention, and energy to stay ahead rather than stuck. Look into how you respond to stimulus and life’s demands, could there be another way? Are they all Urgent and Top Priority? And don’t leave it to late to act! A Stitch in time saves nine.
Build Systems, Habits and Routines that support Freedom — Create supportive habits that lighten your daily cognitive load. Morning and Evening routines are a great place to start, leveraging your physiology to change your state and how you feel.
2.Clarity, Commitment & Purpose
Goal: Get clear on what matters most, commit to a purpose-driven life plan, and build meaningful relationships — so you can live with greater freedom, direction, and connection.
Identify your Core Values to guide you day to day — Purpose flows from your inner compass, not external drivers. Use Joy as your GPS as Robin Sharma says. Live at least your Top 4 Values every day, that’s how you start to develop intentionality and feeling good.
Build Emotional Intelligence & Resilience — Explore and better understand Emotions, how to identify them, regulate and embrace them and make sense of their underlying unique message. Strengthen your ability to face challenges and respond without collapsing or being negatively affected emotionally. You won’t it regret, it will provide unlocks in all areas of life you never imagined.
Get clear on what you think and feel about your life at present - Perhaps start by completing the Wheel of Life exercise to rate your life satisfaction across life themes. Specific troubling thoughts holding you back? Question and challenge your thoughts before you choose to adopt them, explore what’s the real truth. Byron Katie’s 4 Questions (called the “Work”) helps by providing a process for self-enquiry, especially helping you to see your negative thoughts and reframing those that are particularly distressing, upsetting or confusing into something useful and positive. Check-in with yourself, how do you feel right now, and what do you sense in your body? Embrace and allow that feeling without resistance, resistance equals suffering. It will dissipate the moment you do. Easier said than done I know, and so try leaning into that Emotional Intelligence to explore your feelings, talk and share them with someone courageously to help understand where you intuition is really taking you and wants to go.
Create a Life Strategy & Goals, not just Dreams — Permit yourself to dream BIG. But dreams also need structured action to avoid being Pipe Dreams, drifting into wishful thinking. Set Strategies and Goals that are achievable in the short term, that move you, that serve something bigger than just you, that you are excited and willingly able to commit driven by a powerful WHY and appreciating a need for a sense of urgency and cost of delay.
Deepen Relationships and Meaning — As The 5 Regrets of the Dying highlights, strong, loving relationships often matter most at life’s end. What is the freedom you seek ultimately for? With the short time we have here, how might you want to contribute and help others? What commitments do you want to make for others as well as for yourself?
Commit - find what matters to you, commit to what you feel able to commit to wholeheartedly (but lean over your edge), and fully own the commitment and any outcomes.
Embrace Seasons of Life — Accept that your purpose evolves, growth is a feature, not a flaw.
3.Full Authentic Self-Expression
Goal: Let go of masks and put down shields, express your real self with courage and vulnerability, and build the freedom to live from self-acceptance — not the need for external approval.
Cultivate Courage, take (calculated) Risks and be Open to Vulnerability — Expressing your real self requires bravery and risk, is there something you really really need to say or do? Break the filter or shield, find a way. As Brené Brown describes in her book ‘Daring Greatly’, vulnerability is the birthplace of authenticity, creativity, and true belonging. Unbottle your truth.
Practice dropping the Mask or Shield — Where do you most wear a mask or hold up a heavy shield when you show up places? What Persona do you try to transmit to protect yourself from vulnerability? What ideal self do you compare yourself to? Now… how can we access our Real self, what do you really want to say or do? What’s stopping you? What If it was safe to let go of these old programmes….
Accept and learn to love Imperfection — Learn that perfectionism is often a learned response to protect ourselves from shame or guilt. Growth happens in the messy middle, not the polished highlight reel.
Self-Acceptance and Internal Validation — Anchor your worth internally to live free from the trap of approval-seeking. Practice bringing your locus for evaluation internally, not externally. Ask yourself: where in my life do I seek validation, approval, recognition, praise, acceptance? List them, and begin to rewrite how you can self-approve, self-validate etc.
Let go of Shame and Guilt — explore where you don’t feel good enough, talk about it with others as often the best wave to dissolve shame or guilt is to talk about it.
Publicly share your Real Story — Owning and sharing your truth dismantles shame and guilt, builds trust and deep human connection.
Cultivate your best state of being - Living Declarations such as “I am… ” listed, read out loud/listened to and felt daily can elevate your fullest expression of who you are and want to become out into the world
Ability does not equal Performance which does not equal Self-worth - try running Playful Experiments throughout your life curiosities and areas for growth, removing identity and self-worth from the preparatory formula
4.Life Alignment & Fulfilment
Goal: Live in alignment with your values, priorities, and chosen vision of freedom — creating a fulfilling life that evolves with you, not one that confines you.
Alignment with Core Values — Are you living aligned with your Core Values? Don’t know your Values, explore there first! Daily conscious decision making protects long-term alignment. Live with Intentionality!
Alignment (balancing) of Life Domains — Are your daily actions, priorities, and relationships balanced in the way you would like?
Alignment of Life Domains with our chosen terms - Are you in sync with your chosen terms of Freedom? If not, course correct or adapt them.
Leave Room for Experimenting, Exploring, Play, Curiosity, and Evolution — Play keeps life vibrant and allows authentic change. Make space and time for it each day and week. Each day and week can contain adventures if you want it to, you set the rules remember.
Integration, not Perfect Work-Life Balance — We are forever differentiating through exploring and experimenting new ideas, and integrating the parts we value and want to retain as we continue to grow, we inherently wish to become more complex and expand ourselves. When it comes to balancing this exploration across life domains, it can help to focus on one domain at a time, Consider pursuing a life of counterbalance, not forced work-life balance, where you temporarily focus on one domain and then counteract the balancing wheel later. Different seasons call for different priorities, and balance is never perfectly struck or maintained and nor should it. Which one thing could be focused on that helps balance other areas of life?
Permission to Pivot — You are allowed to change directions when you outgrow a path. Pivoting isn’t failure, it’s honoring new truths about yourself.
What Next…?
Living Without Regrets…
A life built with intention, courage, adaptability, and connection leaves very little room for regrets.
Freedom isn't about getting everything perfect, it’s about choosing the life that feels true, meaningful, and fully lived.
One way to simplify and cut through the noise is to focus on this one thing…
Start living in alignment with what truly matters to you — before fear, pressure, or time make the choice for you.
Because everything — freedom, regret, fulfilment, emotional health, relationships — it all flows from whether or not your daily actions, decisions, and direction are aligned with your real values, desires, and truth.
When people are trapped, overwhelmed, bottling up, it's almost always because they are living misaligned:
Doing what’s expected, not what’s true.
Staying busy with activities instead of outcomes that matter.
Sacrificing dreams to maintain appearances or security.
Waiting, hoping life will somehow fix itself later.
Freedom isn’t just about circumstances — it’s about alignment.
When you realign, everything else starts to move:
Energy returns.
Hope returns.
Self-respect returns.
Opportunities show up because you start moving toward them
Take Action Now
Create a "Freedom List" — a brainstorm of everything that would feel freeing to do, have, or be.
Write down 3 things that truly matter more to you than status, money, or approval.
Declare out loud: "I am allowed to design a life that feels good to live."
Raise self-awareness: Find out what’s holding you back from your life of true freedom.
Take our FREE Break Free Quiz now and discover your next steps toward living boldly, without regrets.
And remember…
You don't have to be perfect to deserve freedom.
You don't have to have it all figured out to start walking toward the life you crave.
Be kind to yourself as you grow, don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help.
Vulnerability is a strength.
Be proud of every small step you take.
Be patient, have faith and tune into those little Wins as well as your gratitude for what you already have.
You are not broken, you are becoming.
Final Thoughts, and Advice from a Zen Master
I strongly believe living a life of freedom comes down to knowing when to hold on, and when to let go.
On a retreat once, I asked a Zen Master how I let go of attachments without disconnecting from the things I care for most. She calmly replied:
‘Let go of your attachments, pick up your responsibilities’.
I felt a shift and some freedom in hearing those words.
True freedom isn’t the absence of structure — it’s the ability to choose the structures and constraints that serve our soul,
to serve who we really are and what we really want or need.
The paradox of freedom is that it’s not about doing whatever you want, whenever you want, wherever you want,
it’s about willingly binding ourselves to what truly matters in our lives.
Real Freedom is found in the arena of commitment, supported by healthy boundaries and authenticity.
The things you willingly struggle for are the things that set you free,
that’s what brings us lasting peace, joy and meaning.
Do you agree?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you for reading,
Morgan